Passion, revived – 2

The Wall paralyzed me in fear, pride, and self-condemnation for months.

God planted a seed of Passion in my heart earlier this year:

“To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners”
– Isaiah 61:1

After a cycle of turmoil, I learned a lesson about the cost of this Passion. Our personal passion is the thrill and stirring of the heart that comes with an overwhelming desire to accomplish a God-given life mission. This purpose is not only connected to, but is our continuing of Christ’s passion on the cross. So it only makes sense when we experience extreme opposition from people, resources, and our own heart to become discouraged and even battered in our fervent pursuit towards its completion.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

For most of this year, I thrived in the knowledge of the Vision. It was however short-lived because the revelation of its parallel to Christ’s suffering was not yet real in my life. I found myself in a deep pit of isolation, pride, and self-criticism. Externally I was confident and strong, but underneath the layers, I was one messed up weakling grasped by the hold of the Enemy… until my recent liberating revelation of God’s grace and love.

“If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him.” – 1 John 3:20-21

Christianity is so simple. It’s about looking at the faint light in the midst of overwhelming darkness. As you go closer, you realize that light was actually all around you. You were just too far in darkness to see the light. When the revelation of light enters your heart, it begins to overflow like rivers around you… into people, environments, and situations. A beautiful cycle of Love contagion begins.

Though not completely, I’m surely and slowly experiencing this cycle of Life.

I also realize my present obedience is not in doing, but in sitting. My spiritual thriving in this time is not in being a Martha, but Mary. God has been trying to teach me this specific lesson for so long, but I would always ignored it, swamped in both new and old responsibilities. Now that God is stripping them off, the objective is clear. Honestly, my heart is not yet in complete rest because I’m so used to being busy.

But for now, I’m sure that my goal is to put my trust in my salvation and love others.

“And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.” – 1 John 3:23

Faith and love expands only though knowing the father in intimacy. It will become a lifestyle then I can finally “not [only] love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” – 1 John 3:18

Once I crumble my selfish ambitions, He transforms the remnants into something beautiful. Such beauty that is beyond human understanding becomes refreshing and exhilarating to the core of my soul.

In this firm foundation, my end is to praise and thank my Father, no credit due unto man or myself.

His love keeps me going. The road ahead of me is endless, but I never want to stop. As long as my root is God and Him only, my pursuit will eternally be unstoppable.

“Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble” – 1 John 2:10